- Durmic Letters
- Posts
- Stop Comparing & Start Building a Life That’s Truly Yours Post
Stop Comparing & Start Building a Life That’s Truly Yours Post
Stop Comparing. Start Building: How Small, Intentional Changes Lead to a Life That’s Truly Yours.
You constantly compare yourself to those who've drastically changed their lives, but you overlook the power of small, steady changes—the kind of changes that actually last.
When I was in my 20s, I worked six days a week, ten hours a day. I wanted to make money, and I did. I wanted success, and I chased it. I wanted the things I assumed would make me happy. And I got them. I even bought my dream car at 25—only for it to turn into a disaster.
Long story short:"When you try hard, that's when you die hard."
I was forcing success, chasing validation, and making decisions that weren’t truly mine. And in the end? It all crumbled.
At the time, I didn’t even realize I was on a fake timeline, like I had stepped into a life that wasn’t even mine. (Flashpoint reference for my fellow comic fans.) Externally, I looked like I had it together. Internally? Instant regret.
I made decisions not based on what I truly wanted, but on what I thought others would do in my shoes. I let my choices be dictated by how others would see me, instead of how I would see myself.
And that’s the thing about regret—it gives you a chance to course-correct immediately. You don’t have to let it linger for 20 years. You can change the direction of your life right now.
That’s when I realized something important: comparison was the reason I made that bad decision. A year later, the car was gone. And with it, that lesson was delivered at Godspeed.
Breaking Free from Comparison & Building a Life That’s Truly Yours
We all feel the pull to chase what others have or do what others are doing. It’s human nature to compare. But most of the time, comparison leads to rushed, impulse-driven decisions.
You think, I need to act now before I fall behind.
But the truth is, rushing is how you fall behind. Because you’re not acting out of clarity—you’re reacting out of fear.
The best thing you can do is exhaust your patience. Give yourself time to think things through. Let yourself sit with your decisions. If something is truly for you, it will still be for you tomorrow.
Here’s how you can stop impulse-driven comparison and start building a life that’s truly yours:
1. Set Micro Goals
Write down your goals—big and small. All of them. Get them out of your head and onto paper.
Create a vision board that actually excites you. But not one of those Pinterest-style boards filled with luxury cars and mansions that mean nothing to you on a deeper level.
I used a whiteboard and wrote down quotes that mattered to me. I listed my goals in a way that felt right. Simple and effective. And if something stops resonating? I erase it and write something new.
The goal isn’t just to create a board. It’s to create something that makes you want to look at it every day—because the more you see it, the more it becomes real.
2. Track Progress
Remember when you were a kid, and your parents measured your height against the wall? Every few months, they’d mark a new line, showing how much you’d grown.
That’s what tracking progress does for your goals. It shows you that even 1% progress matters. It reminds you that growth isn’t instant—but it’s always happening if you stay consistent.
When you see your own progress, you start to believe in yourself more. And when you believe in yourself more, you take bigger steps toward your future.

3. Stay Consistent
Think about this:
Why is it so easy to be consistent with things like:
Showing up to work every day
Paying your bills on time
Hanging out with friends
Even playing video games
But when it comes to your own personal goals, suddenly, consistency becomes impossible?
The key is to pair habits together. If you already have a solid morning routine, attach a goal to it. If you love drinking coffee, make it a rule that you’ll work on your goal while having your morning coffee.
For me, writing wasn’t easy at first. But once I attached it to my morning routine, it became automatic. Now, it’s second nature. The same will happen with any goal—if you stay with it long enough.
4. Focus = Energy
Where focus goes, energy flows.
Most people think success is about talent. It’s not. It’s about where you place your focus.
Take relationships, for example. Most divorces don’t happen because of one huge problem. They happen because over time, focus shifts away from the relationship.
The same thing happens with your goals. The more you focus on them, the more energy naturally flows toward them. And when your energy flows toward something long enough, it grows.

5. Visualize Success
What does success actually look like for you?
For me, it’s simple: Waking up on a quiet mountain and making coffee for my wife.
For you, it might be something completely different. And that’s the point. It has to be yours.
Too many people chase a version of success that was handed to them by society, social media, or someone they admire. But the clearer you define what success means to you, the easier it is to work toward it.
6. Keep Learning
"Knowledge isn’t power. Applied knowledge is."
Read about what you want to achieve. Study the people who have done what you want to do. Learn with the intent to take action, not just to absorb information.
And most importantly—keep your vision to yourself.
Not everyone needs to know what you’re working on. The more you share, the more people will try to alter your vision. Even people with good intentions can cloud your judgment. Keep your goals clear and protected.
7. Be Patient
Stop worrying about who has what before you.
You're not in competition with anyone but yourself.
Winning is great. But the real reward? Becoming the best version of yourself.
When I let go of my dream car obsession and focused on what truly mattered, I started saving money again. I bought a car that was cheaper, reliable, and debt-free.
And guess what? I was happier.
Because I wasn’t driving around trying to impress people anymore. I was making decisions that actually served me.
Final Thought: What I’d Tell My 20-Year-Old Self
If I could go back in time and give myself advice, it would be this:
Set goals.
Track them.
Stay with them.
Put focus on them.
See them in your mind.
Keep learning.
Be patient.
Everything you want already exists in your timeline.
Your job? Keep moving until you get there.
Key Takeaways
You don’t need a drastic life change—small, steady changes build real success.
Comparison leads to bad decisions. Stop chasing what others have.
Give yourself time to think before making big decisions.
The 7 principles above will transform how you approach success.
This is your moment. Stop scrolling. Start building.
Subscribe to my newsletter, EXHAUSTIFIED, for deeper insights on personal growth, fulfillment, and escaping burnout.