Cursed and Blessed with Ambition

Hey,

I’m tired.

Tired of writing.

Tired of creating.

Tired of doing.

Tired of wanting more.

And yet… I keep going. And maybe you feel that too.

I’ve often wondered what it would be like to live without ambition. To just… be.

To not carry the weight of a thousand dreams.

To not have a brain full of tabs left open.

To just wake up, work, relax, scroll, repeat—and be at peace with that.

But I’m not wired that way.And I don’t think you are either.

Life Lately: Exhausted but Satisfied

We’re still renovating our kitchen—its going on now for almost 2 months.

It’s draining. Slow. Overwhelming.

Some days I stare at the mess and wonder:Why did I sign up for this?

But I come back to it. Every single day.

Because I know I’m not just rebuilding walls—I’m building a life.A place to grow. A place to host. A place to rest.

Of course, every renovation reveals new problems: plumbing issues, uneven walls, new expenses.

And all this is happening while I’m juggling…

• A project at work

• Building this newsletter

• Building my social media presence

• Recording content (or at least trying to)

The Pivot: Leaving My Job

Last year, I left restaurant management. No dramatic walkout. No “screw this” moment.

Just an honest conversation: “I need to pursue something else.”

I wanted more than just managing shifts—I wanted to create.

Write. Speak. Build something meaningful with my own hands and words.

But I didn’t leap blindly. I took on a new role in IT, had savings, talked it through with my wife, made sure we had a safety net.

Because let’s be real—you never know how you’ll wake up the next day.

If you’re thinking of making a leap, do it smart. Not scared, not reckless—smart. (But do it scared also, it's more fun that way)

Finding My Voice Online

I spent most of last year learning how to write online.

How to share ideas clearly. How to build a newsletter.

How to find my place in the creator economy.

And while I love creating videos, writing became the way I could stay consistent without needing the perfect setup or time to edit.

Still, speaking is in my bones. Even if my voice cracks. Even if I mumble or overthink. There’s something in me that comes alive when I speak.

That’s the part I’m chasing.

Social Media

I’ve been writing on X (Twitter) for a year, but the truth? I don’t really feel at home there. I’m moving back to TikTok—where real people talk about real life.

Not sure why it gets a lot of hate, but TikTok has human connection in a way that other platforms don't. It’s raw. Honest. Messy. Beautiful.

And if you want to learn and grow—it’s the place.

Plus all the other platforms followed TikTok algorithm and they all offer short form content now. And a lot of the videos made on TikTok get shared to other platforms.

And from everything I know, just go build and be on the platform you like.

Tiktok has the best in app video features.

Videos vs Podcasting: What's Next?

I’ve been recording here and there, but it’s tough to find time.Right now, I shoot on my iPhone, transfer to my Mac, and try to edit in between everything else.

Honestly, I’m leaning toward starting a podcast. Less setup, more flow.

Just me, the mic, and the thoughts that won’t leave me alone.

To the Ambitious Ones (Like You)

I’ve tried all this before—many times.

I’ve failed. I’ve quit. I’ve told myself “maybe I’m not cut out for this.”

But then I get back up. And I keep trying.

Even on days when I ask myself, “What’s the point?”

Because I know the truth: I’ve lived the other life—the scrolling, lazy, passive life—and it made me feel depressed. Empty. Like life was passing me by and I wasn’t even in it.

So I keep going. Because there’s something inside me that I have to unlock. Something deep, burning, quiet, and stubborn.

Maybe I’ll never figure out what it is.

Maybe I’ll spend my life chasing it.

But maybe… the real point is not giving up.

Maybe that’s the thing I’ve been trying to unlock all along—Not a goal.

Not a finish line.

But a way of life.

A refusal to quit.

For You

If you’re feeling tired—physically, emotionally, creatively—I get it.

If your ambition feels more like a curse than a gift—I get that too.

But here’s what I’ve learned:

You don’t need to do it all today.

But whatever you do—don’t stop feeding that spark.

The curse may wear you out, but the blessing…

The blessing will build your life.

Keep going.

And I’ll keep going with you.

Subscribe to my newsletter, EXHAUSTIFIED, for deeper insights on personal growth, fulfillment, and escaping burnout.

See you in the next one. Peace.
—Durmic